Forgiveness sets you free.
No, its not just my thought, I read Mark Twain’s quote which I am paraphrasing and which stayed with me. As some who would have read my blog would know, I was dealing with a difficult situation. So after all the hurt and the pain and the anger seemed to pass, a new understanding dawned. As is always my experience, it would never have been possible without the amazing people in my life, my faith, my mentor and my books! A friend recommended Paulo Coleho’s latest, and I follow some really inspiring blogs and I realised that in all the madness there were times when I would be strong. In fact this time I have been stronger than all my last times. And I would feel like the sun has risen in my heart and I will be ok. Not just me, the others in the conflict should be ok too.
Though I learnt to stand up for what I believed is right and to really respect and honor who I am, the thought also came, could I have done it differently? Could I have created less mess and damage and hurt feelings? Maybe not entirely, because every time you decide to walk away from the crowd or feel your trust has been broken there will always be heart bleed. So if you stay you will hurt and one day hurt them too. There are a list of couldas, shouldas in my head. But above them all, is the understanding that where I am, in my life and spiritual growth this is the best I could do. And to keep my intention intact. Despite an attempt to hurt no one, I realised that when people don’t know you well, your most well meaning actions can misfire. Because you feel they would not understand. Maybe a dialogue initiated by me would have made them understand. It doesn’t mean you would not have been judged.
But above all even in their actions you saw the hurt and the anger. And though people move on, the lessons remain. Relationships and people are always mirrors, like attracts like. Showing you something in your life you need to heal. As long as I focussed on that, I could move forward. Look at myself and suddenly I could see what they would have seen, and then there is no blame.
In fact like someone shared with me, even the most trying times pass, and that wounds heal, but as long as you believe that everything will eventually move in a positive direction, as long as you can overcome the anger, hurt and pain towards others in your heart, though you may not be able to talk to them, there will be peace.
And god knows, this world needs more of that. More of understanding. So today, though the hurt stays, the moving on has begun, like it has so many times in the past.
Yes, mistakes were made. Yes, things could be different. But they are not. The one thing that I have learnt, I should try and talk, learn to trust correctly, give people a chance without assuming too much and above all, accept, respect and love who I am, because if I cannot do that then there is no way that someone else will.
Its the toughest lesson of all: to not convince others of your truth. But be aware of your truth just as you are and stand up for it. And keep your heart clear of all negativity. Maybe someday things will turn. If they didn’t you would know who will always be by your side no matter what. Mistakes, learning, clarity and truth