Recently while day dreaming I suddenly landed in the surreal world of cinema and for a few hours (or was it minutes?) I was an actress, I donot know what the real grime behind the profession is but I am sure that it has similar struggles any of the others do, so there you are, part of a story, enacting a role (and since I love books, i think I came across quiet a few plots I wanted to be in!) and then? the locales, getting to dance on some good numbers and above all travelling the world!! and earning all those bucks cause ofcourse I am successful!!
It was grand, and then suddenly I realised that I was feeling too hot and there I was on ground zero, burnt in the hot sun! unfortunately dec wasnt that cold then!
But I think that I have had a lot of these arbit dreams which I have never had the zeal to materialise, so the question is not that whether I could have been an actress but whether I will ever have the zeal to dream and then do or die to fulfill it? I feel each year goes by with me in my comfort zone taking no risks and then cribbing about where life is taking me or where I am letting it take me. I envy all those who have that calling, that dream which they die for, so though I love my work, there is that restlessness that does not let me rest in peace! I feel like that Matchstick girl in that fairytale who sees a new fantasy everytime she strikes a match but is in reality slowly dying in the cold.
Well, not a very positive entry what started as a daydream has ended stirring murky waters….
So till I day dream again:)