Random thoughts flitting thru my head


Blank…. What do I write about? Just started a creative writing course. Actually I never really thought I would be doing this. But I am. I guess I wanted to do something different. Other than stagnate and brood over things that are not in my hand. and by jove my life is perking up! Started to learn Tanjore painting too. Though its not really the traditional one but interesting…

I love the weather outside. Its February, and its raining. I love the rain. As a child I would love it cause I was a monsoon child (if there is anything like that!) But the smell of wet earth, the breeze, the pitter patter of the rain. The overcast sky…

4 in the afternoon, we were having a perfectly good family time. So many lives, so many stories. Its fascinating the web we create for ourselves.

I picked up my dad from the station. HE was looking so handsome:) I do love him. And then we bought a bouquet from this nice little shop in a small lane. My dad as usual matched the yellows with the red!

Beautiful.

So we reach for the lunch and look up at the sky. A huge white cloud, covering the sun. The sky is grey now, and a thin white cover of cloud.

By the time we start driving back its drizzling. I doze of. waking up once in a while to respond to my dad’s comments. I register nothing, must be the wine:) nothing like wine in the afternoon. And then we reach home and I sleep some more. I still have one more meeting to attend, I rally my last resources of energy but the rain has done its work. ITs chilly again and I feel refreshed. It’s funny how heat can sap your energy.

Meeting over. Still have to attend a wedding. Hoping against hope it gets cancelled. And it does:)

The relief that fills my soul is indescribable.

Actually I am trying not to think. About the one thing that is nagging in my heart. Sitting like a hidden monster in my thoughts. That I need to tame, to accept the reality. To have faith, hope. But deep down I feel none. I am trying to hide my rising panic. Trying to believe what all the Laws of Attraction and  Prayers tell us to be true. But I know it’s not in my hands. I have to let it go.

Be positive.

Be real.

Be hopeful.

Get real.

and on and on it goes.

TO tame the mind. TO quiet it. TO understand it. Takes so much energy.

I wish there was a good horror movie on. Maybe a rerun! Nothing like horror to divert my mind and lift my spirits.

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