Love takes its toll: Yes you read that right. What is it with ‘meeting the right person’? What is it about exs? You have them in your life its a problem, you don’t it still is one. Funny isn’t it? Love, relationships, marriage, they seem like a war wasteland now. Each relationship unique in itself and with a lesson to learn. However, there is something about karmic patterns which I have started to learn. I seem to be repeating myself. End of the day one has to stop and look back and go through these patterns to see what is it that one is looking for?
A love that is missing at home, but can a complete outsider fulfill all of one’s needs? Is it all a matter of chance or fallacy. What happens when one sees again and again ‘The Others’ meet their soulmates while you seem to be stuck. By ‘the Others’ I don’t mean a ghost… but yes, ghosts of past.
Finally, I decide to stop looking. Not for anything but that the pain and the loss have taken their toll. And now, a new question stands before me: what does one look for when one is endlessly going round and round in this never ending cycle of relationships or the lack of them? Maybe what one is looking for outside is not really there, but within. What if things not working out are a call to the soul to really go deep within and change that which causes all the war and finally be at peace… with who you are, where you are in life and what you can be, to love but your own self first. To be stronger, wiser more of what you are so that you can give.
After all, “love is fostered between 2 mature, independent and sincere people”. Yes, there are some who fit the bill completely but still things don’t work out. One can live with the blame and regret or one can honor the decision and move on without making more mess. Of all the challenges in life, relationships and with people are the toughest. Its like waves crashing against the boulder, they change and the boulder changes to. Nothing can ever remain the same.