I have been pondering on this for sometime and finally thought that I must “air” my views or “woes”. Depends on the perspective that one has.
You see I became a writer (or a budding writer) by default. There I was writing stories and diary entries for my own fun and sometimes for my family. Behind closets. In my diary which used to change every year. People around were impressed that I was finally showing some direction in my seemingly directionless life and had found “my calling”. Finally showing signs of genius which one part of my family has.
But this was still behind doors. Then I landed this job where I “had” to write. In panic I joined this “Creative Writing” class. Whether to gain confidence or to be able to finally tell my ever suffering family: “look, no writer. I can finally quit this job” I am still to figure out. But no such luck. I did fairly decently and next thing I know I had written a story! And was appreciated no less. So with the confidence of a new found writer in me I hit the “submissions market”. I got a small post published on a leading magazines blog: “confidence hit a new high”. My first submission to a magazine was not so successful. I got a polite note “its very good but unfortunately…”. And there it seemed to shatter all my hopes. Just one rejection had me doubting my own writer-worth. Though encouragement was still in plenty “look at J.K Rowling!” “One novel is all you need!” and the most precious of all “first write, if you have nothing to publish what will you publish?” And finally my ever-suffering family introduced me to the new phenomena of “self-publishing” There is always that.
And so I stopped writing.
Technically I continue to write for work and get published but as for my story that I want to write and show? That is a different story all together.
Finally, after months I have hit the keyboard or my diary again. In between I have written poems. Simply trying to make myself happy and got appreciation too. But there you are.
More importantly I started searching for magazines that take in new writers and pure fiction in the realm of horror or mystery. There are so few. What is good writing? Does it have to fit a mould? Be reflective? Making a statement? What if stories just raise questions, like mine do?
A lot of magazines just seem too well-established to approach. Is it just me or the magazine?
Anyway, so I have my hidden story which I am going to continue to reveal, bit by bit and take all the encouragement I get as serious and move on. Maybe one day I will publish a magazine purely of mystery too.