What an interesting thought? Just when I was looking at my life and wondering how I was again at a place where one does not want to be. And this is what I realised. If I leave I would love to leave chasing people in my head. Of not being forced into the game again. Its funny, you think of person A as good, as someone who feels the right one and next thing you know the spoken, unspoken have done their bit and you are at the receiving end. They are now giving the looks, in your face, to someone else. And the first instinct is- I can win this. And then the obsessing begins.
This is when I decided not anymore. I stop. STOP this now, no chasing, no being in the game. Life is not a game so I leave the chase behind. Despite the reality that there is nothing ahead, the prospect of chasing phantoms is worse and losing one’s own self-respect. So walk away.
I leave the attitude that anything goes and welcome my self home. I leave old habits and thinking and raise my head high and say no to this behaviour. Yes, I slip. And stand up again. Wait for that right time and person. Is it scarier? maybe. Is it right? absolutely.
So how about yes to oneself and one’s own life. Like my mentor always says, phantom is a phantom and reality a reality. You are you nothing more or less, being caught up in momentary superficial things and losing sight of the purpose of life will not help. Adopting a bigger purpose, that is more critical.
Makes sense doesn’t it.